This blog is a week late...again :3c

Hi, it's Nico again :-3 I got super sick this week and missed most of it so I can't write about what we did sadly. Instead I want to write about how I came to be passionate about sustainability and the environment. :D 

I grew up in southern Texas where people don't really care about the environment and tend to completely denounce climate change. I don't remember where I learned about climate change but I know it wasn't mentioned in school until I was maybe 16. I had always done well in science classes and I especially enjoyed biology. In my free time during middle school I would binge watch video essays about different epochs and the evolution of different plants and animals. At some point I learned about melting ice caps, dead zones in the oceans, and all the other alarming existential stuff. I remember feeling an intense sense of urgency to do anything while the people around me just didn't care, and it felt very alienating. It was kind of silly because what was I supposed to do, I was like 13 LOL.

 At the time I still had dreams of pursuing art but I knew it wasn't realistic. Profiting off my art seemed weird to me. I was pretty aimless until I was 17. I didn't know what I wanted to do, which was scary to me because I felt like I needed to have everything planned out. I remember being told that nothing I did could create a significant enough difference so I shouldn't waste my time and effort on something futile like environmentalism. It got to me for a while, if nothing I did would even matter why even try. I was a nihilist for a long time. In 2022 something scary happened and it put a lot of things into perspective for me. I had an epiphany. I needed to do something that I would enjoy, otherwise I'd stay miserable at some dead end job for the rest of my life. I needed to do something for the benefit of others to find some kind of fulfillment, a purpose. There was so much wrong with the world and I would continue to have this horrible existential dread for the rest of my life unless I actually did something about it. I needed to be the change, even if others felt nothing I did would ever matter.

The CSE Internship has been so fun. I was nervous at first because meeting new people and socializing is always a struggle for me, but everyone is super cool and I'm happy to be able to have this experience. Waking up at 7am is still a struggle but it's not horrible XP. Being able to get hands-on experience is the best feeling ever, this is the most content I've been in my life and being an intern definitely plays a big role in that. This summer has been the best yet! :D

one of my favorite images of the summer :}